Posted by De Brown Streak on January 12, 2001 at 01:55:08:
“De Brown Streak!!” Crusty Seaman Pete gasps. “Oh arrh!” “How long have you been listenin' to our plans?” Cap’n Lionmane growls. “Long enough to know what you’re up to, you bad men,” DBS replies. “Hundreds of years ago, the alien Z’Sox crash land on Earth. Doesn’t everybody? Lionmane captures their technology and uses it to make himself an immortal undead, along with his girlfriend, Mad Old Hag Woman, and their love-child Crusty etc. Pete. But to power the equipment and keep you going you have to suck life-force, and what more powerful life-forces than the heroes of the Parodyverse? Am I right?” Crusty Seaman Pete: “No.” DBS: “Oh.” Mad Old Hag woman turns DBS into a starfish. “Ha ha,” she cackles. “You were right, but we lied. What part of villainous didn’t you understand?” DBS (in starfish language): “You fiends!” Cap’n Lionmane laughs. “By now the sedatives in the mead should be working on the heroes in the tavern above. Kept occupied looking for treasure and looking at that rent-a-corpse I left there they will not have noticed how sleepy they are getting until it is too late.” Dancer (who is too too sexy not to be featured in this chapter): “Not so fast, Cap’n Lionmane, CSPete, and MoHL! You forgot one thing! I’m really, really slow at serving drinks to bad tippers. The LL and LoR and AL et aren’t as drugged as you think. Look!” Dancer points to the fast-moving brown starfish whizzing towards the secret treasure (the Z’Sox machine!). “Nooo!” Crusty Seaman Pete screams as De Brown Starfish locks his suckers onto the mechanism. “You don’t know what you are doing!” This is a summary of DBS’ entire career, by the way. “Don’t push that button!” screams Mad Old Hag Lady. “Not the Plot Device Accelerator!” But it is too late. There is a huge explosion. Visionary: “Waiter, I have a starfish in my soup.” When the smoke clears, all the heroes gasp to see who or what emerges from the debris of the alien machine. Finny: “Oh no, not that… anything but…” TO BE… CONTINUED!!!